never help anyone
Filling up my tank for the commute home, when this guy approaches me holding a busted fan belt. He says, "Can you help me out? My wife's over at the Shell station. Our car broke down and we don't have enough to fix our car. Autozone wants (i think he said $25) for the part i need. Can you help me out?" I'm always telling myself that I'm going to help more people, so I convince myself that this is legit and give the guy all my cash - a whopping $11. He pulls out his driver's license and asks if I want to write down his info. I decline. He asks for my number so he can call me, find me and pay me back. Again, I tell him not to worry about it. I pay for my gas, get a carwash, and start to head home. While I'm stopped at the light a block from the Shell station I'm looking around. (this is a marked improvement from my normal habit of dozing off at stoplights.) And who do I see? None other than my new pal walking into the parking lot. Of a convenience store. Alone. Stuffing the fan belt into his pocket.
Duh. I'm a moron. Things I should have picked up on:
1) Why would he walk all the way across the street to the Chevron station where I was. In rush hour plenty of people would be coming into the Shell station where his phantom wife and car were.
2) Who the hell carries around a fan belt?
3) I didn't see any Autozone nearby.
4) Again, if he had priced the belt at Autozone, what would he be doing at the Chevron station across from where his wife and car were? Getting free money, I guess.
Let this be a lesson to you. Never help anyone holding a fan belt. Also, never help parka-wearing old women in Paris who ask for "change" - unless you see their money first. And finally, do not trust South African princes who need help smuggling their money out of the country. Somehow they always lose my email address.
Duh. I'm a moron. Things I should have picked up on:
1) Why would he walk all the way across the street to the Chevron station where I was. In rush hour plenty of people would be coming into the Shell station where his phantom wife and car were.
2) Who the hell carries around a fan belt?
3) I didn't see any Autozone nearby.
4) Again, if he had priced the belt at Autozone, what would he be doing at the Chevron station across from where his wife and car were? Getting free money, I guess.
Let this be a lesson to you. Never help anyone holding a fan belt. Also, never help parka-wearing old women in Paris who ask for "change" - unless you see their money first. And finally, do not trust South African princes who need help smuggling their money out of the country. Somehow they always lose my email address.
3 Comments:
hey, did you watch, hmmm, what was it, dateline, or 20/20 or some news show like last week? they were talking about south african smugglers and such. pretty interesting. i must say though, it would have been nicer to watch the news with you.
Whodat? No, i can't tell from your writing. They were probably talking about real smuggling though. Not fake treasure smuggling, which is all the internet is good for.
i figured the lower case i's would have given it away, or my amazing grammatic skills, or the fact that i couldn't rememeber what show i was watching just last week. think about it.
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